Time change and so have my taste,

i began to realize this, after starting my first full time job.

Our type of ideal changes as we move on to different stages of our life, be it age range, a change of job or a change of environment.

When i was way way way, my god way younger, my ideal was someone cool, who could play the guitar, someone whose hair was probably the height of a tsunami with all that hair wax, someone when you walk down the street with, people will go like ” oh my god, isn’t he wow”

but when i grow slightly more older, A&F model were in, with those hot bods and dazzling commercial perfect white teeth and brownie points if he could pull off specs, like

And then came a time where korean guys were basically the cause of my rising blood pressure and nosebleeds along with my anime characters which strangely are fictional ( GOD DAMN IT)

However, as i went through stages of my life, i realized, yes i will always have a fetish for anime guys, yes i would tend to favor people who are animal lovers more than the rest and people who don’t give a shit  and also lip bitters,

but my ideal type will constantly change and i am okay with that because life moves on, people change and so does preferences.

And beside, my idea of prince charming would probably be the furthest thing from my actual date and that would be horrific but you know what people say,

“Those are where the good stories are made up off, ”

well that saying could be wrong, but we’ll just go with it

xoxo,

MR.

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How long has it been? MYGOD

i came back to wordpress today and my god, everything looks and feels different,
how long have i been away?

Truth be told, i miss writing but being a working adult, i really feel like 24 hours is really not enough especially when you work in shifts.

Everything becomes too tiring and there are days where i actually don’t snuggle with my cat because i get to tired to drag him to bed with me and it feels like a need a new job, something that is more engaging and stable and mostly, that allows me to stop running after time and breeze walk with it.

oh my, what have life become,

xoxo,

MR,

” with a drink in hand, my screen lights up and your name pops out, i looked at it before turning it face down and downing my shot. i wipe my lips and lit my cigg, laughing to myself. honey, i’m trying to be sober for you but the though of losing you scares me more, please don’t come closer cause if you leave me suddenly, it’ll bring out the worst in me”

and then i went OHAYOU~

Hello my munchokins,

For those who might not be aware, I AM A HUGE FAN OF JAPANESE FOOD!

Like i just love it, i mean literally i can eat it everyday but i have specific favorites LIKE SUSHI AND RAMENS and so, one day after work, i headed down to Suntec City, a shopping mall in Singapore located at City hall to have some Ramen but i got distracted over some restaurant sushi banner and without a second though, i went in and Kart to eat dinner.

The menu actually overwhelmed me and i had no idea what to get but finally i started spotting food that i adore and the ordering commence.

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ICED GREEN TEA!                              SUSHI GOSHIN (Restaurant name)          Prawn ramen that was AH-mazing

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Left to Right : Little plates for soy sauce, EEL SUSHI which look wayy to burnt ,  Soft shell crab Sushi

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Left to Right : Crab sushi, Inari Sushi and Tamago sushi with a side of wasabi.

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Left to Right : TAKO SASHIMI and Prawn Ramen and classic California Handroll.

I love how minimalist the concept of the restaurant and the prawn ramen is a must try, one portion is like $6 but it is superly yummy and everything was good but the Soft Shell Crab.

Let me be honest, it was horrible. The sushi and Soft shell crab did not blend harmoniously together in my mouth, it was like raging a war with 2 very different taste. The seafood crab taste was overwhelmed by the green outer layer seasoning and it didn’t taste well at all.

To me, when i enter a sushi eatery or restaurant or somewhere else, i will always order classic sushi such as Tamago, Crab or things like that on the first try because i feel that if the place can master the classic sushi then no doubt they will excel in the rest.

Pricing was kinda average to normal sushi restaurants but the ambiance was nice and calming, it wasn’t loud in decor and felt very wide and spacious but the food was a little disappointing though.

that all for now,

xoxo,

Mariam R.

But i didn’t have the courage

Hello Munchokins,

For being away for so long and also for being lost on my own wordpress, i swear to god i was literally lost. It looked like everything had changed but maybe it hasn’t really.

Before we start, please kindly watch this video here because i will be talking about it somewhat, i mean the topic is related and yes, IT IS KPOP.

It goes round & round, why do I keep coming back
I go down & down, at this point, I’m just a fool
Whatever I do, I can’t help it
It’s definitely my heart, my feelings but why don’t they listen to me
I’m just talking to myself again, talking to myself again

A couple of years back, i met someone who did stole my heart but i kept him hidden because i didn’t want the world to know who he was. We were not in a relationship but we hanged out and we were friends but at times it felt more than that and i admitted my feelings for him. I told him that you have always been on my mind and he said the same thing, it should have been the happiest day for me but let me clarify this first, we were not a couple. We admitted but we didn’t jump straight into it. We wanted to take our own sweet time and so we were clearly dating.

Cat actually met this guy before and she hated him from the moment she saw him, she kept saying he will be my downfall and true enough he was. Things were good at first, the honeymoon period but so after that, things changed so drastically. He stopped caring about me and everything was growing one sided where i would do anything to see him smile but he stopped doing the same.

It was killing me on the inside, i was sad and very unhappy and yet, i still cling on like a fool. I admit now i was foolish but how long can someone hold on to someone who doesn’t see their existences.

I didn’t have the courage back then, i didn’t have the courage to leave, i didn’t have the courage to ask him why have things changed and i certainly didn’t have the courage to ask him how he truly felt.

I remember one day, on a rainy evening, i finally left and i started thinking to myself, is this karma? I used to date people and majority of the time, i left without giving anyone an explanation, i didn’t bother giving them the closure they needed. I just left and i was doing the same thing now expect the tables have turned and i was in the spot that needed the closure.

And needless to say, he didn’t bother coming to find me and when i heard this song, so much memories came flooding back and i am thankful that part of my life is now over and i can keep moving forward.

xoxo,

Mariam R.

I want to fall for someone shy, i want a skinny love

Hello munchokins!

Often we hear people ask us what is our type, do we have a type, who would we want to fall for and normally i tell people i want certain characteristics but lately, i want to fall/ be with someone who is shy, i want to be the cheeky one who makes the other person smile, i want them to have a soft smile when they look at me smiling cheekily at them.

i want a skinny love, i want a playful love, i want someone so vastly different from me that we can make it work.

In my head, i picture someone so vastly different from me. The person ( you) is shy, they keep to themselves a lot and always has their earpiece or headphones in their ear and bobbing their head to the music. You are the cool kind, even tempered and a smile worthy of me turning into a puddle.

I will be the cheeky one who will tease you and when i do that, You  would have this kind of smile while looking away because you are just that shy.

when we go out separately with our friends or i would be engrossed in my book, you would look at me from across the room with this kind of smile till i realize and look at you, making my heart just at the sight of his smile.

you would be the secure one while i will be the insecure one, you will be the calmness to my storm.

And if we ever go out dancing, i want to be the one pulling you to the dance floor excitedly and just grooving with you till our song comes on and i would pull you closer and just wrap my arms around you with our forehead touching.

and we would be singing to our favorite song and just be lost in our own little world and thinking how lucky we both have to share a love that has blossomed from 2 people who are vastly different from each other.

We might have our fights but i want us to last through it.

I would love it also if you were to write me letters because i am a sucker for those.

we would be those couple who doesn’t have to say i love you to prove we love each other, we would say it in those rare moments but we would show it to the world without being too much for others to bear. we would have a skinny love.

OH GOD I AM A HOPELESS ROMANTIC!

but who isn’t anyway, hehehe.

but exceptions differ greatly from reality and i am just hoping one day i would be able to experience this kind of love.

toodle dee you guys!,

xoxo,

M.R

Some who don’t let go,

Hello munchokins!

Now some people don’t let go due to specific reasons and usually we don’t see that. We find these people annoying, irritating and just a past that doesn’t want to be forgotten. They keep popping out and we get very annoyed and we tend to lash out at them. I have been there and i also found out why.

When i published my open letter for the world to see, she would read it and of course came a lot of fights and i had these Fuck It attitude and i honestly could not be bothered until she started pulling my friends into the drama and that just pissed me off. I am like, “DOOOD, your fight is with me not the whole world” and i was in a pretty mad mood for a few days but things changed when i saw her broke down right in front of me. I honestly did not want to have anything to do with her, i was just tired of all this reality drama worthy shit that i just let out a sigh and looked at her.

But something changed when she told me she needed help, she said ” I can’t go on like this, i am so tired”

That snapped something in me, those were the phrase of someone who was falling into depression and i knew what depression could do. Without thinking, i told her she needed help and that i would help her. She was surprised and she asked why i didn’t hate her after everything that has happened.

I just kept quiet and i told her to look into counselling and managed to get the support of her mom who was readily on board. I mean she was worried sick for her daughter.

Lets fast forward a lil bit,

I didn’t see her for a week or two or even three  and she called and asked if we could really talk. Now i hate this word because normally it would lead into a fight but i was curious to see how she was. so we met up and lets be honest here, she didn’t look so great but she was getting better, she had the smile i used to adore and the things is, she is smiling.

A rare sight like a blue moon or an eclipse or a narwhale! That rare!

So we sat and talked and i asked polite questions like ” How are you, how is treatment, are you on medications, are you feeling better ” and she laughed and told me to slow down.

She is on medication, anti depressants and she does weekly counselling and it seems to be helping and she is slowly getting better and we talked about how we both were and she said

” The only reason why i cling so hard was because you were there when my parents broke up, you were there when it was a life changing moment for me, you comforted me and i just could not move on from that. I realized that now, ”

and that actually made sense to me. Every emotion that i have associated her with like anger, annoyance, sadness, irritated ( not sure an emotion or not but yeahhh), they disappeared and i smiled.

Don’t ask me why i smiled but i just did and told her it is a start to recovery, acceptance is a start.

tooodle dee you guys!

xoxo,

M.R

Oh gosh, where do i start?

Hello munchokins!

Since my last open letter and my Starbucks observation journey which i have not wrote about, a lot of thing has happened and i am honestly not sure where to start from.

2015 has proven to be a crazy year so far and i will just start with the starbucks and follow up post will be about other issues and just what has been going on.

So i went to Starbucks for a quick observation because i just wanted to read people’s body and i wanted to go see where i was going with that but was not really interesting cause the place was kinda empty except for a few students studying for god knows what and this man happen to catch my eye. He was the barista and i love how he wears an air of elegance around him, how his hair was backcombed back and love the mini beard or mustache he was keeping, very well trimmed and very neat.

He kinda caught me staring and i had to play it cool and smiled at him which he returned one of course.

so i got bored and started reading my book and then i got distracted then this guy like in the corner caught my attention.

He was talking loudly and people presumed he was angry because my god, he sounded like he just wanted the entire Starbucks and the person he was chatting with to go deaf. I MEAN DOOOD, too loud no?

But as i observe him, he wasn’t angry because his body language was saying things like he was chilling, he was cool and he didn’t mean trouble and he just has a loud voice because when he was ordering coffee, he apologized to the barista and said he was born to be loud.

And i actually giggled when i heard that.

so yeah nothing interesting at all.

Toodle dee you guys!

xoxo,

M.R

It is hard,

Ever so often i asked to be left alone,
Because i am scared about what people would think of me
When they see my scares, when they see how vulnerable i can be

The though itself scares me
I, the one who is always strong
I, the one who always smile no matter what happen
I, the stubborn, the bitchy, the one who makes inappropriate jokes

am scared,

Will they still stay when they see how broken i really am,
Like a broken mirror who can’t be fix
with its crack showing

Will they stay when they see the real me?
The one that doesn’t always smile
The one that is vulnerable
The one who needs someone with her but she is afraid to say so

Ever so often i asked to be left alone
But this time, i need someone with me who won’t let go.

xoxo,

M.R