Pain and denial

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When your having to dealt with the pain of losing someone,

it’s hard isn’t it.

you’ll find yourself in denial most of the time. Memories that you hold dear to you makes you believe they can’t be gone. Some days you are going to wake up and believe they are still there, still alive and you’ll break down knowing it’s not true.

Pain comes along with the emotions, denial, anger, sadness and betrayal.

well at least for me that is.

When i lost her, i felt a huge sense of loss and i was in denial for a week after her death. i was expecting it all to be a joke and she’ll say “HAHA! I GOT YOU” but those words never came. she was really gone. Then came the betrayal, she had always told me that she was always going to be here and we were going to grow old together but it was a lie. She left without me and I’m stuck here with this sadness and loss.

I felt like someone had stabbed through my heart with a samurai sword and left it there. The pain was everlasting like a gobstopper but anger made its way in. Pain and anger are never a good mix really. I burnt all my pictures, letters and whatever memory i had of her left. The anger kept telling myself “You decided to leave me then fine, I have decided to forget you, wipe out your existent from my life”

i know what i did was probably not a very wise thing and yes, i do regret it now cause i have nothing of her left when my picture with her is still on her bedroom wall.

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