please don’t.

please don’t go,
she kept saying in her heart as she saw him walk away from her. 
Her lips quivered and too many emotions were running through her. 
She felt angry, betrayed and upset but most of all, heartbroken. 

She had loved. 
For such a long time, she held a candle for him. 
She was there when he needed her but when she needed him, 
was he honestly there? 

sometimes she believed she cared too much for him
but she was in love with him. 

He was serving the nation and they started contacting each other again. 
The first time he texted her, he was in the woods and she was ecstatic. 
she was in school doing an event with her friend and upon seeing his sms, 
she jumped for joy making her friends question her. 
and she told them about him and she had a lovely smile on her face. 
He made her smile constantly with his sms and she liked that. 
she liked him waking her up and wishing her goodnight
just when she taught things were taking a turn for the better, 

Shit happens. 
secret happens. 
friendships being questioned
Disappointment surfaced itself and she was angry, upset but most of all, her emotions were jumbled up in a roller-coaster. 


Did she resent the other girl? 
No, she never did. 
Did she regret? 
Maybe? once before but thanks to her, she saw the real him 
and the fights got even worst and she found herself emotionally drained. 
the constant fighting made her cry silently but she was too proud to cry in front of her friends till she couldn’t take it. 
She was broken. 

Her friends told her to break off with him but she valued their friendship too much. 
She still loved him but for him? 
She now realized maybe, she didn’t mean a thing to him
on her birthday, she waited patiently for him to sms her but that time didn’t come 
and without anyone knowing, she cried. 
she was broken and smashed to pieces. 
The friendship they shares, it was smashed too. 

now, he has moved on and he is happy. 
She should be happy too and moving on but she can’t
Because her heart is still scared and she is afraid, 
she saw the changes in him that made her hated National service but it wasn’t fair to blame it entirely. 
She believed if it was meant to be hers, he will come back but now, she isn’t convinced any more. 
She told herself, 
i shall not date anyone who hasn’t gone through National service 
and she kept rejeacting guys for that simple fact but in truth, 

she just didn’t want to get hurt again.

the scars are still there
and so is the pain. 
she is moving on but slowly. 
it will take time but she is determined she will get over him and be happy

but the truth, she has already lost faith in love and care. 


Ah boys to men part 2


And so today, i partial class just to watch Ah boys to men part 2 with Zack and pe’ah!
and i can tell you
Now i feel like watching it all over again!
Some scene are way to funny, some are very heart warming and some will make you smile and feel thankful somehow. 

Basicaly, Ah boys to men shows a journey on how young men in singapore have to go through National Service (NS) and what kind of difficulties they face, in this case, they picked the army.  We start with our main character, ah ken who didn’t want to go through NS which is compulsory in Singapore and wants to go study with his girlfriend in some foreign country who eventually left him and he honestly went through a rough time and did some selfish thing that caused his dad to suffer from stroke and that was the turning point in his life. He changed 180 degress around in a way to redeem himself on his mistake and it was kinda shocking for his fellow bunkmates. The main cast had Ipman played by noah yap, sergeant ong played by tosh zhang, lobang ( who is kinda mean and scheming but he learns to play nice in the end) , 1 indian guy who i still didn’t catch his name throughout the whole movie ad ismail, the malay guy who is soo funny and got marked by tosh for calling him stupid and alouises, a smartypants who at first, didn’t understood the term “Leave no man behind” but he is okay. 

Part 2 was showing about IPPT and BMT training and finally POP (Pass out parade).  BMT means Basic Military training which everyone in the army has to go through and IPPT is basically your 2,4km run that you have to pass or go through RT (Remedial training) till you pass and POP is when you graduate from BMT and wait for your posting. All NS men must go through this for a duration of 2 years and for 1 simple reason, to protect their homeland. 

Back to the movie, the movie was so good that i cried laughing. totally loved part when the china guy told the platoon to fallback because it wasn’t worth it to sacrifice 12 person to save 1 person. 

The hear-warming part was tosh, the platoon sergeant gave a letter to lobang because he knew lobang has not gotten any letter while everyone else did and it was a sweet gesture. no matter how much your high ranking officer or your Encik as we call it pressurize you, they still care for you. 

I can understand why young men do not wish to serve NS. You waste 2 years of your life to prepare for something that might not even happen and stories we all heard about the conditions and how teruk they tekan everyone and how other guys who potong jalan and take your girl but we shouldn’t take things for granted because life is unpredictable and it is better to be prepared than sorry and like lobang said “There are still many rifles out there” 


this movie taught me to be more thankful to the young men serving the countries and i totally salute them for all their hardship and my dad used to be a police. still remember when i was young, i would wear his hat and tried to carry to him his heavy gun which i ended up getting scolded because it was dangerous. 

and like ah ken said, “Do the best you can” 
No matter what the situation is.