please don’t.

please don’t go,
she kept saying in her heart as she saw him walk away from her. 
Her lips quivered and too many emotions were running through her. 
She felt angry, betrayed and upset but most of all, heartbroken. 

She had loved. 
For such a long time, she held a candle for him. 
She was there when he needed her but when she needed him, 
was he honestly there? 

sometimes she believed she cared too much for him
but she was in love with him. 

He was serving the nation and they started contacting each other again. 
The first time he texted her, he was in the woods and she was ecstatic. 
she was in school doing an event with her friend and upon seeing his sms, 
she jumped for joy making her friends question her. 
and she told them about him and she had a lovely smile on her face. 
He made her smile constantly with his sms and she liked that. 
she liked him waking her up and wishing her goodnight
just when she taught things were taking a turn for the better, 

Shit happens. 
secret happens. 
friendships being questioned
Disappointment surfaced itself and she was angry, upset but most of all, her emotions were jumbled up in a roller-coaster. 

 

Did she resent the other girl? 
No, she never did. 
Did she regret? 
Maybe? once before but thanks to her, she saw the real him 
and the fights got even worst and she found herself emotionally drained. 
the constant fighting made her cry silently but she was too proud to cry in front of her friends till she couldn’t take it. 
She was broken. 

Her friends told her to break off with him but she valued their friendship too much. 
She still loved him but for him? 
She now realized maybe, she didn’t mean a thing to him
on her birthday, she waited patiently for him to sms her but that time didn’t come 
and without anyone knowing, she cried. 
she was broken and smashed to pieces. 
The friendship they shares, it was smashed too. 

now, he has moved on and he is happy. 
She should be happy too and moving on but she can’t
Because her heart is still scared and she is afraid, 
she saw the changes in him that made her hated National service but it wasn’t fair to blame it entirely. 
She believed if it was meant to be hers, he will come back but now, she isn’t convinced any more. 
She told herself, 
i shall not date anyone who hasn’t gone through National service 
and she kept rejeacting guys for that simple fact but in truth, 

she just didn’t want to get hurt again.

the scars are still there
and so is the pain. 
she is moving on but slowly. 
it will take time but she is determined she will get over him and be happy

but the truth, she has already lost faith in love and care. 

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