an unexpected dream : the meeting

Hello fellow reader, sorry for the long hiatus!

school has started and it is getting me all burn out like seriously and the worst part, the school took in more than they could which resulted in long canteen queue and majority of us senior were unable to eat actually. Everywhere was too crowded and you will start feeling so stuffy!

Anyway i had a weird dream this morning which i shall write in my point of view!

I and my group of friends majority all girls were standing in front of an old house just like this. It felt like a scene from the movie Jan dara ( Thai movie ).

An old came came forward with a smile and invited us all in.

“It must have been a long journey, no? ” He asked.

“Not really ” My friend said as we all walked in and was lead into the living room where a group of man greeted our sight.

We sat down opposite them and the old man came in with a paper after closing the door.

“You all know why you are here for and you will all be paired up and be put in a room together . I have already match make all of you and good luck ” The old man read the letter and told us who was going to be with who.

As you can imagine, everyone looked displeased. I was stuck with a man who i barely knew and put in a room with him. He kept looking but i didn’t mutter a single word to him. Why should i anyway?

And he on the other hand, just stood and stare at me while i sat on the bed. One of our very first mission was to get to know each other but i was being a cold and i couldn’t be bothered at all. It was so unlike me because i love getting to know people but this time, i was literally dead to everyone.

A few days later, i woke up in the middle of the night and went looking for him. weird because i had shown the least interest in him and you didn’t have to say it but everyone knew he was different from everyone because he had this weird aura around him. its like from miles away, you could know he was coming.

I went of our room and started looking everywhere for him. I went into every room in the house and getting some weird stares but i wouldn’t find him till i opened the door at the back. He was there sleeping on a mattress beside the old man. Seeing him fast asleep, i went back to our room and fell into a deep slumber. i woke up in the morning, had breakfast and took a walk in the park and went back during dinner and stayed in our room after that. I was busy watching television when he came in and stared into my eyes.

“Why is it i can’t find out anything about you? ” He asked me.

I peeled my eyes away from the tv and looked at him.

“You could have asked the girls and that one guy ” I said realizing i forgot his name and started mumbling to myself, completely ignoring him.

“I’m off to bed. I’m tired ” He said suddenly and laid on the bad trying to sleep while i was laying next to him watching TV.

I can’t remember what i was watching but my friend came bursting in and headed straight to the toilet and i look at her dumbfounded. She came out shortly and was about to tell me something when we heard a blood curling scream.

and i shall end this story here and look out for the next part,

much love,

xoxo

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rants : don’t you just hate it?

Don’t you just hate it when you just finished watching your favourite show and now you got to wait for a whole week just for the next episode?! 

A WHOLE WEEK. 

It makes me want to cry

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As much as most of you think that people like us have no social life, 

Let me correct you right there!

Yes, we do have a social life, we go through normal activities and we breathe the same air as you do but don’t you ever get that feeling when you have something to look forward too? 

When you come home after a shitty day and realize that your favourite show is coming on and suddenly, everything seems better and you feel better and you don’t go to bed feeling like crap. 

But, once you get addicted to the show, every cliffhanger makes you wanna cry because you got to wait so long for the next episode just to find out what happen which usually ends up in another cliffhanger unless its the end of the show but the writer and producer might end up torturing you with a cliffhanger like BBC Sherlock Holmes! 

I can’t believe i have to wait another 8 more months for it! This is so heartbreaking! 

and i am also addicted to a show called Cult. It’s like a tv show in a tv show. A lil ironic but super awesome! However the show is kinda serious and i swear super confusing at the start but as it goes along, it gets better and the worst part, i don’t even know what day its being aired on! 

and now , people are saying the show is being cancelled! MY HEART CAN’T TAKE IT IF IT’S TRUE!

and another one, 2 broke girls! What happen to them? I have been waiting ages for at least a new episode but none what so ever! Please don’t tell me they cancelled it just like Don’t trust the bitch in apartment 23! That was one of my favourite till it got cancelled! It was such a heartbreak! 

anyway, today marks the start of school for those in college in Singapore. Depressing really and i should probably get to bed if i want to be early for school tomorrow but what are the chances of that! 

and now, picture spam of Krysten Ritter cause i love her and i think she is mighty fine and funny and i adore her and such a comical relief! 

 

not good enough.

i am sorry i’m not like those girls who can giggle sweetly and have those amazing smile that can make you melt.

i am sorry i am not like those girls girls who are able to act all cute and mushy and make you fall for them.

i am sorry i’m not  tall, curvious and thin like those girls who are blessed with it and that you label as sexy and hot.

i’m sorry im not tumblr perfect.

i’m just a plain jane who can barely dress up and the only thing im good at is being bitchy and picking fight but thats how i show i care.

i’m just the girl down the street who has her insecure days , give attitude and wishes to be called pretty or beautiful and have someone to call their own who can cope my attitide and who wont leave because i am cold or being a brat because i dont
understand how to be clingy or show jealousy.  i wish to work things out and not break up when things get rough.

most of all, i wish to learn how to show love like i want to be love cause to be honest, i really dont know how too.

much love,
xoxo

forgiveness

 

up to this day, some people do not understand why i choose to forgive my friend easily.

Let’s be honest, is there really any point in holding a grudge at someone who makes a mistake? we are all humans, we are not god or some magical being that puts us above all the other homo-sapiens. we are all the same.

yes, you may talk about status like the person ranking or their job and all but deep down, that person is still a human and why not be the better one who is willing to forgive and forget. i know at this point, majority of us would say, “Why should i apologize or accept their apology when i think they don’t deserve it ”

i know that feeling. Why do all that when your heart and brain ( Sometimes) are telling you this person is probably going to commit the same mistake again and so why should you.

and I can tell you right now that there is no way to be certain. You just have to have a lil faith and pray that he or she has learn her mistake and trust that small part of your heart that believe the person has changed.  I gave my friend a second chance because to me, there is no point in keeping grudges and everyone deserve a second chance no matter what they have done. Everyone needs a new start at some point of time and we can be the better one to give it and let them prove themselves.

and now, I am thankful that my friend learned her lesson as we both had a proper talk and she explained to me what was going on and she thanked me for giving her a second chance when she really needed it and now, things are well between us.

i’m not trying to preach or anything but the next time you get pissed off at someone and you want to murder them, take a min to breathe, rationalize their behaviour and try to make sense of it. If that fails, try to talk it out with them and sort it out. It doesn’t matter if you end up not talking to them for days but at least get the matter sorted out even if you both ended up as enemies or frenemies or stranger but at least you can pat yourself on the back and say “I am not a bearer of grudges and i have made peace with my past and its time to move on”

 

my apology for the lack of pictures today.

been feeling a lil low and sad.

so here is a kitty gif for you,

anyway much love,

xoxo

the cat : sparky

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Hi! my name is sparky!
i’m turning 11 human years in 2013
or wait, was it 12?
my owner had me since i was a lil one and oh the havoc i wrecked on her parents house!
i gotten my owner scolded countless but she still loves me all the same!

they thought i was a girl at first and named me after lion king lead female character, nala
weren’t they in for a suprise when we visited the vet!
she told them i was a boy and i watched their jaws hit the floor!
they named me sparky because i use to run really fast and looked like the cat version of flash but that was all in the past.

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this is how i look like! i have white paws that makes people think i’m wearing a sock!
hehe fooled you!
anyway my owner is back from her adventure after a week of leaving me!
but i’m not worried because she always comes back for me!
but as punishment for leaving me, i’m claiming her bed as mine!

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so fellow reader, having a pet is a responsibility for life and no, it is not a burden. its one of the joys of life! having a pet is like having another family member! We pets love you unconditionally and we are here for you! we might not be able to speak but we will show you in our own ways how much we love you!

so my fellow readers, if you ever planning on having a pet, remember pets are for life and please try to adopt us from your local shelter! some of us needs a home and a loving family who would want another family member in their life.

much love,
xoxo

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and here is a paw for you! hehe.

questions.

I don’t normally question myself or think otherwise of my gender or sexuality. 

I love myself the way i am and love others the same no matter what their sexuality is but right now, i can’t help but think i should have been born as a guy.

Its so tiring to hear everyone say ” Are you sure you’re a girl? ” or “You are weird for liking such stuff “

so why do people pass such judgement? 

Simply because i like horror, Gore,  anime and their cosplay events,  war and action genre and i love games but I’m not an avid gamer though. Partly because i suck at it and i tend to get so easily distracted that i end up losing and letting out a string of curses.

And every time i ask someone to the movies with me be it my girls or my friends and i ask if they want to watch a horror movie or an action movie, 

their reaction

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and i’m like 

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but no, it doesn’t stop here! 

Then they start making comments and telling me how weird i am and all and making all sorts of assumption and passing comments. 

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to be honest,

I don’t find what i like odd at all. I mean everyone has a different personality and are bound to like different stuff. I basically can watch anything but zombie cause i think they are really that freaky but hey, i don’t complain when you guys wanna watch a chick flick or some romantic sob comedy. I’ll go with it because i am giving it a chance so why can’t you do the same and stop with all the passing comment. If you don’t want too, just say its not your cup of tea and we are good!

i won’t force you to watch it with me. 

like how i won’t force you to melt at the sight of Bruno Mars being all so yummy!

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initially i wasn’t planning to blog till i got my travel post done but bruno mars is wayyy more important and beside i had to get it off my chest. 

so

much love, 

xoxo

GREAT NEWS, EXCITING NEWS! 

its like 2.08 am here in hot & humid Singapore and you would think Singapore would have cooled down by now but no, we are still melting to death here. 

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but in a few hours time, IMMA BE FLYING OFF TO INDONESIA FOR A VACATION! 

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Not going to bring my laptop to blog because it is heavy even though it is slim (Ironic much ) and its kinda the reason why i have a smartphone. So i can blog on the go!

HOWEVER there will be more photo’s and i’ll do an update after it all or we’ll see how it goes 🙂

I AM SUCH AN EXCITED KID! Indonesia is such a big country filled with history, natural wonders and shopping of course! 

It is definitely not my first time visiting Indonesia because i have Indonesian heritage and we  went back a few times in the past years but this trip is way more exciting because my friends are coming along and this is their first time there. 

my flight is at 0820 am and i got to be at the airport by around 0715? 

Thank god Singapore is near Indonesia so we are taking a budget plane and the travelling time would be 1 hr 50 min and i have the latest episode of CULT, GOLDEN BOY and ORPHAN CHILD to keep my company cause budget airline generally has no entertainment.

Shall update soon once i get internet and i got to be up by 0500 am to get ready and leave by 0600 am. Gotta end this post soon and i won’t be able to wake up in time! 

so much love, 

xoxo

and here is a picture of neon hitch for you!

why? Cause i just love her so suck it! 

OH god, she is perfect and i just love her voice! 

 

the verdict

Messy life, messy relationship. Everything was literally a mess! 

My house was in a mess, my relationship was in a mess, even my feeling were in a mess! 

after my angry rant, disappointment came as one of my girlfriends broke off our relationship over a guy! can you believe it?! OVER A GUY! 

at this point, i felt betrayed and what happen to ” bro before hoes! chicks over dicks ” 

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and truth be told, it still hurts. you choose someone who treat you like shit over us, the people who heard your whining and pulled you back on your feet and 2 nights ago, she texetd me wanting to be friend again, wanting everything to be like normal. Instead of saying yes or no, i told her what i felt because i learn being truthful about such things is a better solution than being a fake ass bitch and saying ” everything is good now ” but never really resolving the issue. 

the picture seems dramatic but its kinda what i felt so bear with it! 

So, i told her what i felt and we sorted out what was going and what will happen now then she got back with her ex. Yes, the pain of betrayal is still but here is the thing, we forgive people sometimes simply because we want them back in our life and i gave her a second chance because sometimes people do really need it. 

now we are talking like normal and hopefully everything gets better and i pray for a break up soon cause i really dislike that guy and i’m pretty sure he hates me after the confrontation and shit but he can go suck it cause i don’t care. 

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Alright, that all for this post! and here is a picture of kat dennings for you! 

I swear she is awesome! 

OH LOOK ANOTHER ONE

i guess there’s all then. 

OH WAIT LOOK! ANOTHER! 

much love, 

xoxo