the saddest truth.

i have been single for god knows how long and i’m not exactly the type that will jump for someone, 

once i am unsure of my own feeling, i rather run then jump because to me there is no point jumping with the opposite / same gender to be in a hasty relationship because i was pressurized to be and  where I’ll be like 

if i want you, i want you but if i don’t then i don’t. 

That simple. 

well, usually things would be simple like this but once in a while, you find someone who you want , someone who makes you smile and makes you feel comfortable, someone who doesn’t rush you to be in a relationship or go out on a date with him or calls you mushy names,

someone who would take his own sweet time and having known a few guys who always pressurize you to be in a hasty relationship with them, you start find this side of him attractive. 

you end up waiting for his text but parts of you are telling that this is a bad idea and might not even be possible. 

And from then, your heart and your mind gets into a constant argument. 

” Don’t think about being with him, it’s impossible. He gives late reply, god knows which other lady he is with ” says the mind. 

“Do you feel those butterflies forming? anything is possible, give it a go, the game piece does not move if the board is not set ” says the heart. 

These kind of argument is tiring isn’t it? 

and these arguments can vastly change. How ? 

simple, i present you a picture of sawyer hartman ( Youtube star from America) 

Both mind and heart : Yep, His perfect. 

now come on, most of you might not agree but you know this part is true!

and so, me being a very straight forward person, i want to ask so many question because i want answer and mostly reassurance like You do want to talk to me, you do want to be my friend and you do want to date me but this is virtually impossible because like everyone else, 

I’m scared of the outcome. I am scared that this would be a one sided affair and what i say might ruin everything. it always feel like i am treading on thin line when i talk to him. 

the thinnest line of being straight forward and ruining everything or wait patiently and see how it plays out. 

and you know what is the best remedy, 

i am sure as hell getting a new book to read and to get everything off my head. 

and i am planning to get this book 

A breathtaking new urban fantasy trilogy from the critically acclaimed, award winning author of The Swan Kingdom and Shadows on the Moon.

When fifteen year old Mio Yamato furtively sneaks the katana – an ancestral Japanese sword – out of its hiding place in her parent’s attic to help liven up her Christmas party costume, she has no idea of the darkness she is about to unleash on modern day London, or the family secrets that she is going to uncover.

The paralysing paranoia that descends on her before she gets to her friend’s party is her first clue. The vivid and terrifying visions that nearly get her killed are a pretty good warning too.

The giant nine-tailed cat demon that comes after the sword and tries to rip her throat out? Overkill.

Seconds away from becoming kitty-food, Mio is saved by Shinobu, a mysterious warrior boy. But it’s already too late. Mio has ruptured the veil between the mortal realm and the Underworld, and now the gods and monsters of ancient Japan stalk the streets of London, searching for her and the sword. 

With the help of her best friend Jack, a fox spirit named Hikaru – and the devoted protection of the betwitchingly familiar Shinobu – Mio attempts to discover the true nature of the sword and its connection to the Yamato family. Because if she doesn’t learn how to control the katana’s incredible powers, she’s in danger of being overwhelmed by them. And if she can’t keep the sword safe from the terrible creatures who want it for their own, she’ll lose not only her own life… but the love of a lifetime.


Alright, this post is done lovelies and i am sorry this post has no direction in it but anyway

love you guys!




sexy bitchez I can’t

Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck.



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