Probably page 25 of 356 by now,

When i like/ love or even care for someone, your gender never plays any role in it because i have accepted you as you are and i don’t think about anything else and this is probably why when i fall for someone, i throw gender out of the window.

No one really knew what happened to us,
A lot of people assumed and even though who thought they knew
I can say that they really don’t know.
They saw us fight but did they really knew what was going on inside of us?

I never planned to write or mention about you because it is nearly 3 years and
i know for a fact that you hated me and i believe it was my fault we became like this
I was a fool to be honest, i jumped too fast and i leave too fast
And i always wondered why, why would you even stick by someone like me.

Don’t get me wrong, i have always cared about you,
Before and after everything that happened,
Through the fights and the words we threw at each other insensitively,
I honestly cared about you and i know for a fact you do read my wordpress and
I just wanted to say, i’m sorry.

I am sorry we fucked up
But i didn’t regret leaving you, you must know that
We brought out the worst in each other, the most horrible nature we have,
We brought it out of one another
I thought this was the best way for us to break the cycle.

Remember the fight we had, that changed everything,
That made everything went downhill to the point i was insensitive and you were clingy.
looking back, i realized we both never had a chance to talk about it,
We let the assumptions rule and we began tearing each other apart.
We stopped caring and let our nails draw blood.

Looking back, it was pretty painful really.
I do regret what i have said and how i acted,
I was the reason you cheated on me and
I hated the fact you were tearing yourself apart trying to get back at me
like our fight were not enough.

When you were angry when you told me to leave and i left without looking back
i knew you were crying but i couldn’t make myself turn to comfort you
Because i realized if i went back, we will never stop trying to hurt each other
And in the end, we might try to kill each other.
I never wanted that and i am truly sorry.

Wherever you are, just know i want you to be happy
You deserved to be happy after what we have been through
You deserve to have someone who makes you smile so wide
And who will love you so right
The way i can never.

xoxo,

R.

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Page 24 of 356

it is officially the 24th of January in Singapore and it is 24 days passed new year and my new year resolution and would it be too late if i still wish everyone?

But what not, i am still going to wish everyone

HAPPY NEW YEAR YOU GUYS! MAY YOU HAVE A BLESSED 2015!

Now here is the thing, after the wishing comes the resolutions and might have been pretty much been the same or to say, i never gave much thought of it because i am a fickle minded person and yeah, you know what happens after that but i was on tumblr and i saw this,

2014 was a roller coaster for me. Internship was a bitch but i survived and i am actually pretty thankful for it because it really opened my eyes to what the medical life really was like and now that i am doing FYP, it feels like a desk bond job which i get some people really like but i’m not the kind to sit still.

After since my birthday, things really went downhill from there. I was struggling to keep up with work, life, studies, exam and pretty much everything else then my brother came back out of no where and i had to provide for him as well and it really put much stress on me because i was not earning much but family is family and i would do anything to protect them.

With that being said, i was struggling yet i managed to find joy, my new work. Working in the museum is an eyeopener, i am not kidding. I have seen art in it’s various forms and i always wondered ” What inspires them, can i ever be like them, to proudly hold my own artwork exhibition,”

I wondered a lot honestly and from there, it shaped my new year resolution.

So my NEW YEAR RESOLUTION is simple

– continue my 2014 resolution to get fit and lose weight
– To find joy’s in the little things in every aspect of my life no matter how hard life gets
– To be financially independent
– To stop jumping in head first and take a moment to breathe.
– Spend more time with the family.
– To read 19 books by the end of this year!

And what my friends want me to include,

To curse less and be a better person when playing games and to not drink coffee and get so hyper that by 7pm, i turn into grumpy cat.

On a quick side note,

They most definitely are and just keeping hanging in there!

Toodle dee!

xoxo,

R.