Now some people don’t let go due to specific reasons and usually we don’t see that. We find these people annoying, irritating and just a past that doesn’t want to be forgotten. They keep popping out and we get very annoyed and we tend to lash out at them. I have been there and i also found out why.
When i published my open letter for the world to see, she would read it and of course came a lot of fights and i had these Fuck It attitude and i honestly could not be bothered until she started pulling my friends into the drama and that just pissed me off. I am like, “DOOOD, your fight is with me not the whole world” and i was in a pretty mad mood for a few days but things changed when i saw her broke down right in front of me. I honestly did not want to have anything to do with her, i was just tired of all this reality drama worthy shit that i just let out a sigh and looked at her.
But something changed when she told me she needed help, she said ” I can’t go on like this, i am so tired”
That snapped something in me, those were the phrase of someone who was falling into depression and i knew what depression could do. Without thinking, i told her she needed help and that i would help her. She was surprised and she asked why i didn’t hate her after everything that has happened.
I just kept quiet and i told her to look into counselling and managed to get the support of her mom who was readily on board. I mean she was worried sick for her daughter.
Lets fast forward a lil bit,
I didn’t see her for a week or two or even three and she called and asked if we could really talk. Now i hate this word because normally it would lead into a fight but i was curious to see how she was. so we met up and lets be honest here, she didn’t look so great but she was getting better, she had the smile i used to adore and the things is, she is smiling.
A rare sight like a blue moon or an eclipse or a narwhale! That rare!
So we sat and talked and i asked polite questions like ” How are you, how is treatment, are you on medications, are you feeling better ” and she laughed and told me to slow down.
She is on medication, anti depressants and she does weekly counselling and it seems to be helping and she is slowly getting better and we talked about how we both were and she said
” The only reason why i cling so hard was because you were there when my parents broke up, you were there when it was a life changing moment for me, you comforted me and i just could not move on from that. I realized that now, ”
and that actually made sense to me. Every emotion that i have associated her with like anger, annoyance, sadness, irritated ( not sure an emotion or not but yeahhh), they disappeared and i smiled.
Don’t ask me why i smiled but i just did and told her it is a start to recovery, acceptance is a start.
tooodle dee you guys!