rants : judo camp part 2 and claustrophobic

Hello ma readers, sorry i haven’t blogged about anything lately. Was busy with camp and finally got home on a Thursday! i was so worn out i just spend the day sleeping and i still feel tired! 

Anyway camp was FUN! After my emotions took a hit on the first day, i met my babygirl for an intern talk in school and had to missed half of the day from camp! The talk was super boring till i fell asleep 3 times and basically did not hear anything he said. We headed out for lunch and i poured out my heart to her and she admitted this was the lowest she had seen me and i basically didn’t really touch my food because i lost my appetite! After lunch, i calmed myself down before heading back to school and joined the rest for training which went well and pretty boy was so nice! found out that he has a girlfriend and they always go on trips together! so sweet right? 

anyway after training and dinner, we had night walk which i was honestly not looking forward too because i am claustrophobic and being blinded folded and lead around the school is not my thing and i told them about it and they said they would keep an eye out and i had to be blindfolded. Pretty boy helped me with that and i kept adjusting it so i would peep at the floor. 

Here is the thing with mild claustrophobic people like me! 

1) i am fine as long as i see spaces and recognize my surroundings! 

spaces at least gives us comfort and recognizing our surroundings actually put us at ease! we do not freak out as often and we can control ourselves. 

2) claustrophobic people are smart! 

If we do not freak out the minute you put the blindfold on us, its most probably because we can see the floor but we pretend we can’t see anything. 

3) Do not touch us when we are blindfolded or we will hurt you! 

when i was doing the blindfolded walk, someone behind me kept putting his hands on my shoulder and when i wanted to touch their hand, they kept avoiding my hands and kept giggling. i was this close to hitting the person. Yes, i literally wanted to kick them and i won’t probably regret it because you were annoying as hell. 

so in conclusion, i freaked out about 4 times but i held it in and made my eyes watery. As much as i wanted to freak out and drop to the floor crying, i couldn’t because of the people around me especially the guys. They were supportive like for example, when we had to walk  down the steps and i was totally against it because i couldn’t see and i couldn’t possibly judge how big the drop from one step to another and i literally didn’t want to go down but my sweet seniors actually held my hand and helped me down! 

Thank you my seniors for the help! if you guys didn’t help, i was more than happy to stay at the top of the stairs! teehee! 

okay ma readers, one thing that i would like to say is if you know someone who is claustrophobic, please do not corner them and ask them ” Am i scaring you right now? am i  freaking you out now? ” after they had revealed their hidden secret because we are uncomfortable saying it and more uncomfortable showing it. Not forgetting your an asshole if you do that and deserved to be hit. 

Another sign to look out for if your friend is claustrophobic is after whatever activity you guys did, look at their hands. They will be shaking and we are likely to hide like sitting on our hands or clenching them  unless we do not realize than that is different. 

so please be supportive of people like this. Everyone has their own weakness and this is our’s. 

anyway much love you guys!